Nice Cop! Bad Rice Burner!

Discussion in 'General Viper Discussion' started by benson8708, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. benson8708

    benson8708 Viper Owner

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    Well this is my first post here after reading these forums for the past year. I can say that at times the shear barbarianism portrayed by many of the members here has kept me at bay. Well I guess that can be expected by gentlemen who own a car as loud and obnoxious as a dodge Viper. Which is certainly why I bought one. It is the only car that paralleled my personality.

    Well on to the story, just a quick one but nice. I decided to take my RT/10 for a ride down to Long Beach to visit a friend. Stopped in a subway to grab lunch which required me to parallel park directly in front of the store. I was a little leery about this but considering the numerous nubile women who frequent this particular establishment and the fact that there would only be a car in front of me due to a fire hydrant I would take my chances. I made sure that my parking job was efficient and only utilized the appropriate number of turns to avoid embarrassment. A couple of well times revs of the throaty V-10 masked any minor flaws during this event. Well, head up high and proudly leaving my 1995 Viper the correct distance from the curb, I proceeded to get in line for my sub. I could see the front of my car through the windows and was not concerned about the rear-end near the hydrant. Then I finished my sandwich and headed outside after about 15 min. I approached my car from the front and notice that a F-ING Honda with a big stupid wing and homosexual type paint job has squeezed up and parked extremely close to my viper. As I approach the perps dainty vehicle I see that his bumper is actually touching mine...WTF. I am standing there allowing the rage to build so that I will have sufficient adrenaline and strength to pound some young punk to death. Then out of nowhere a sissy looking short shorts wearing bicycle cop is standing over my shoulder. I said can you believe this S#&^% he said go see if the person is in Subway. His presence will defiantly hinder my original plans with this punk..dammit. I re-enter the subway and ask whose Honda was parked out front. Before I heard an answer bellow from the line I already had profiled out the owner. I don't believe a description is necessary since he was so cliché'. I must admit that being able to say this next sentence in a crowded environment was well worth it. "EXCUSE ME SIR BUT YOU CAR IS TOUCHING MY VIPER!" As the entire line spun around to look outside I held back any gluttonous grins. "I will move it as soon as I get my sandwich." He said calmly. I stepped back outside and relayed that info to that waiting policeman. The cop forcefully extended his kickstand in a manner that could cause the hardest criminal to run in fear. He entered the store and as manly as he could said, "MOVE YOU CAR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL HAVE IT TOWED AND YOU WILL BE TICKETED." Now you think that my last comment made me feel good, the cops next one was the icing on the cake. "Are you an idiot why would you bump you car into a 90,000 dollar car and leave it there!" Now I know and you know that is it more like 30,000 but I was not about to correct him in front of all these people who now assumed that I was in a different tax bracket. The dumb punk moved his weed whacker mobile and I checked for damage but there was nothing. The cop and I verbally bashed the young man and talked about my car for the next few minutes and then he saddled up and rode off with as much glory as possible on a shwinn.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2009
  2. LifeIsGood

    LifeIsGood Enthusiast

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    Very nice story! :lmao: Welcome to viper ownership...it's a blast!
     
  3. 99 R/T 10

    99 R/T 10 Enthusiast

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    That was one cool cop! Buy him some lunch or a beer if you get a chance and give that nice policeman a ride in the car too! :2tu:
     
  4. alpha85

    alpha85 VCA Member - South

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    Thats why you never drive it and leave it anywhere.
     
  5. eucharistos

    eucharistos Viper Owner

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    not too shabby of a 1st post :2tu:

    nubile women at subway :lmao:





    reap the benefits of viper owner status or better VCA member
     
  6. Frankster

    Frankster VCA Member - Illinois

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    He was screwing with you. Probly out of jealousy. Welcome to a troubled world. Strength comes from realizing most people are basically idiots.
     
  7. benson8708

    benson8708 Viper Owner

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    Probably out of Vanity. He was most likely pulling up as far as possible to squeeze his car into view. So it could be seen from inside the subway so that he could feel cool too. He was farting into a headwind though thinking that his muticolored jukebox on wheels would draw attention away from a bright yellow viper. He had no chance considering his subway audience had already witnessed my parking job worthy of papparazzi. haha
     
  8. triplexotica

    triplexotica Viper Owner

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    What's a homosexual type paint job look like? lol
     
  9. benson8708

    benson8708 Viper Owner

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. eucharistos

    eucharistos Viper Owner

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    asked


    answered


    :lmao:
     
  11. J&R3xV10

    J&R3xV10 Enthusiast

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    ok Thats funny. After so many comments about rainbow paint we finally have a winner!!!! But in the future lets avoid comments of this nature please.
     
  12. eucharistos

    eucharistos Viper Owner

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    how ya been robert?
     
  13. BolsOut

    BolsOut Viper Owner

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    You have to have faith that most people are not idiots. If they were, I think our species would have become extinct a long time ago. With 7 Billion people on this earth, yer gonna have a few hundred million terds floatin' around.
    :)
    I would agree tho that most people cant drive worth a damn. Ask me how I know.
    :usa:
     
  14. GBS

    GBS Viper Owner

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    Good Story! Those viper owner's are barbarians.
     
  15. plumcrazy

    plumcrazy Viper Owner

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    The OP sounds like an angry little man

    5 bucks says that homesexual perp beats you in a race
     
  16. dave6666

    dave6666 Enthusiast

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    Hey plum... Where's your sig line? Modding again? New info coming soon? :dunno:
     
  17. VIPER GTSR 91

    VIPER GTSR 91 Viper Owner

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    Hey Benson, well written and I cant believe you have not been bombarded with "sign up with the vca and get ownership status". This cop was definately not one of those NY cops illegally parking etc. that was filmed by my hero, "the camera vigilante" and was replayed recently on tv showing the public how many cops use their badge to do things they ticket us for. And with over 1 million hits on you tube. Love the barbarianism part.
     
  18. 2001 GTS

    2001 GTS Viper Owner

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    Well seeing as YOU took ME out to dinner last night...I think you would know what's homo or not:rolaugh:
     
  19. 99 R/T 10

    99 R/T 10 Enthusiast

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    Do we see love in the air? :omg: Long distance relationships never works guys :nono:


















    :D:D:D:D:D
     
  20. benson8708

    benson8708 Viper Owner

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    Well 5 bucks says i could pick up more dudes...er I mean girls than him..lol
     
  21. Motivated

    Motivated Enthusiast

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    Thats great! very glad to hear no damage to the vehicle as well. If you think there is some barbarianism here you should visit the alley...
     
  22. Venomiss

    Venomiss Guest

    What a good line.:D

    Prime reason to keep a camera in the car for those occasions where that Schwinn toting policeman might not be present.
    Sorry that Subway didn't offer you any coupons after that bumper kissing event.
     
  23. 1badsrt

    1badsrt Enthusiast

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    I ****ing hate ricers. Theyre all retarded.

    They think slapping a NAWS sticker, fart can, and a park bench wing on a rusted POS makes it fast. I do enjoy smoking them on the street in my CSRT though. :headbang:
     
  24. Kmrumedy

    Kmrumedy Enthusiast

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    That's a great read!! Good humor! Thank you. Welcome to the club.
     
  25. J&R3xV10

    J&R3xV10 Enthusiast

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    The best part is when they put those HUGE wings on front wheel drive cars:dunno:
     
  26. 1badsrt

    1badsrt Enthusiast

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    haha. Theyre all the same too. All look like **** and have absolutely no power adders. Why would anyone waste the money?

    I wish the ricers would send me their money so I could finish my CSRT.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2009

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