Guys,
I am partially trying to make a point... I'm sure some folks felt slighted when I was calling the old cars POS's, and the rims "rolling turds" and "salad bowls" (even though I am being totally honest that you guys are the rice of the 60's). It's honestly the exact same thing as the guys taking shots at the SRT. I don't mind the SRT shots one bit - I love the car! - so long as you guys don't get mad if I lob some mortars your way too
. I know the automotive designers of today can't compete with those of old... I mean, after all, it was sheer genius to put a horn on the roadrunner that went "MEEP MEEP"! I wonder how long the designers spent getting the tone just right? Too bad they didn't spend a bit more time in the wind tunnel, or on developing a suspension that would let the car corner at more than 10mph without flipping off the road onto it's back and emitting shamoo-like beaching sounds. Hey, maybe you guys would like the SRT a bit more if they put a horn on it that went "HISSSSS" rather than "BEEEP". Sure, they might have to compromise on performance a little - maybe wouldn't have enough time to develop that new motor as well as they did, or might not be able to fit ABS onto the car, but DARN CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW TOTALLY FAAAAR OUUUUT it would be MAAAAN if we hard a horn that hissed? Hey, maybe we could get them to splash an image of a phoenix... no, no... a DODO on the hood... that would, like, totally FREAK out the squares MAN... it would be PSYCHADELIC!!! I know the SRT will beat the pants of almost everything out there, but what does that matter when you have an ego to stroke, and a mid-life crisis to try to compensate for - we gotta look totally hip to these young-uns or the 25 year old ladies will laugh in our faces when we try to pick them up with our comb-overs and checkered pants, rather than waiting until we drive off to laugh at us. heheheheh
I know most of us never actually GO to the racetrack, and we never actually GO to any sort of competitive environment, so why bother about how the SRT performs? We need LOOKS bro's - who cares about SUBSTANCE. It's GOTTA look cool at the local Sonic while we try to sneak glances up the skirts of the girls that are probably friends with our daughters!
Bigs,
I have NO IDEA what you're talking about with the sarcasm thing - was Mark being sarcastic? I didn't pick up on it. Either I'm losing my perceptive abilities, or your 10 gallon hat has been on your head too long, and has squeezed your brain and caused you to become a "bit slow"!
. As for "old muscle" being rice, I'm starting to think this is where the rice thing started. Back then, they were putting on open headers, whitewall tires (or white lettered tires), painting phoenix's on their hood, putting the biggest "4 barrel" or "six pack" they could find on their 289 motor (surpassed only by MULTIPLE huge carbs!), installing the ubiquitous 8-ball shifter and fuzzy dice, and of course fitting the elite "cherry bomb" exhaust system (good for -2RWHP I'm sure!) to their ***** rolling turds. The *real* performance guys had the big motor cars that were actually fast and are actually worth money nowadays. These guys doing it in the 60's are *IDENTICAL* to the guys nowadays putting fat tires, TypeR stickers, neon lights, fartcan exhausts, short shifters, 8-foot wings, and japanese letter graphics on their cars. They were both groups of kids into looking cool and getting attention with their rides. The old guys idolized James Dean and Steve McQueen, and tried to make their "hip" rides look (or at least sound) like his - while these guys they were idolizing were actually into REAL machinery like Porsche's, Norton's and the like, their imitators were stuffing huge-cammed 440's into their mom's hand-me-down "goat" trying to play the part. Nowadays, the rice boys hold Vin Diesel and guys like Adam Saruwatari as their idols and try to imitate the look with lowered suspensions, neon lights, fart cans and the whole lot of "aftermarket performance" parts. It's all so clear now!!!!
I would also like to PROUDLY state that I have *ALWAYS* at all times since I was able to drive owned a car that runs at least 13's at the track, and can get around an AutoX or Road course pretty quickly, and I have never put anything on my car that didn't help performance in some way.
These old guys with their big-inch motors are the beginnings of AUTOMOTIVE RICE! Except I guess back then it was DOMESTIC RICE!!!!
Mark is right about the witch thing - we know how to have a REAL BBQ up here. You TX guys think you have the good BBQ's when you grab a cow, shove a skewer up it's bum and put it over the fire. Up here in the Northeast, we round up a few disreputable lookin' folks and toast them instead!
P.S. Marv,
I know you were intending those pics for Mark - Mark and I have a bit of a "difference of opinion" on the SRT, and he's so eloquently (and humorously) showed his feelings, so I thought I'd join the fray, and say what all of us young guys REALLY think about the old cars. All in good fun!
