Just sold the Snake ... Is there anything I can take for the pain?

[garolittle]

Moments after the transfer of title to the new owner of my RT/10, I caught one last glimpse the Snake as it slithered over the hill onto a highway. My mind wondered back to the days of cute girls squealing as I drove by and grown men breaking their necks in an attempt to catch a glimpse of this illusive car in action. Ahhh ... the thrills of owning a Viper in a small town. Although I plan on purchasing a newer version of this car next year, I am finding it difficult to deal with the absence of my first love. Any suggestions on dealing with the pain? Dear Abby? ... Jack Daniels?... ect... Thanks.

 

[speedshftr]

i sold my 96 gts about 4 months ago.one passed me about 2 weeks ago going about 140 or so inm guessing.guess what my sickness has prevailed and im shopping for my new snake now.ill say by mid january ill be slithering again.good luck.hang in there

 

[Joseph Houss]

Dear Lost in Snakeland,

The phenomena you are experiencing is medically termed snakeitis, a well researched disease that effects the mind and spirit. Unfortunately, pschologists have not been able to help this tragic illness, which eventually leads to extreme paranoia, out of body experiences, and hives (usually shaped similar to that of the Viper logo), and in some cases, hallucinations (many have experienced visually perceiving a Viper in their garage rather than the family truckster that is actually parked there).

But, you're in luck, there is a medical cure for this unfortunate disorder. In the short term, mentally commit to purchasing a Viper, any Viper, gen1, gen2 or even the SRT-10. Be warned, this thought will produce moments of euphoria, but surely this is a positive side effect of this initial treatment. The long term treatment is to, once again, purchase a Viper, and miraculously, as the papers are signed, ALL symptoms will subside, the fog will lift, hallucinations will immediately cease, and your hives will completely heal, without a trace.

Yours Truly,
Abbey Houss (Dear Abbey)

 

[viperdrummer]

There are 2 Drs. in Nebraska who have exstensively researhed the disease and have created a vacine. Drs Woodhouse and Pemberton have long studied the effect of snakeitis on the central nervous system. Treatment involves a short negotiation process and is followed by 2-3 days of intense anticipation followed by delivery of the vaccine, usually to the patient's driveway.

 

[SapphireGTS]

Run around your living room with your fingers curled over your front teeth, mocking fangs, and go hissssss as you run around the living room. You may be able to conjure the your r/t and the 2 of you can be one in sprit again.

 

[jimandela]

just start drinking!!!

 

[Chuck 98 RT/10]

Victims of snakeitis are also susceptible to snakeolism as well. They can't stop at just one, they need two, or three or even more. They can never get enough.

Research is pending.

 

[unclgreggy]

BUY A NEW CAR.