Trashing Adelberg

[brett]

I've been out of the loop for a while and when I got back on this discussion board I see some things never change. I was briefly pondering why everybody "trashes Adelberg"? It quickly came to me. It's easy, he's a huge target, and if your having a bad day it's therapeutic. It's contagious and can be habit forming so be aware of the warning signs.

1. Staying up all night hoping Ken will post something.

2. Watching Jerry Springer to better understand the enemy.

3. Not caring if you fail at something because you always have Adelberg. (by this stage it may be too late)

Make your comments with these warning signs in mind and don't let the "bug" get the best of you.

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Brett, dude, it is like good to have you back. Isn't it nice that as things change,some just stay the same. The Viper Club should thank Adelberg for his consistency, and I for one applaud that. Let the Smack down continue, but beware, Ken's vocabulary has improved - but his spelling still ***** ( dang, consistency raises it's ugly head again ). And I , for one, have the shear stupidity to actually announce that I kinda like the guy. Now that I have left myself wide open I guess I will just have to end with a gesture of goodwill - BEST OF LUCK TO SCHLEY,MUMFORD,ADELBERG,DONALDSON, AND HILL AS THEY BATTLE THIS WEEKEND AT VIPER DAYS (Buttonwillow )!

 

[brett]

Hola amigo! Are you kidding me? Bill you can like the guy all you want, I don't know that your reputaion can be any more tarnished than it is now. Who am I kidding, it will be! Nice to hear from you. I hope things are well in the heartland and say hello to Bob for me.

 

[Paul Hawker]

Brett. From one Viperless guy to another-You ought to be ashamed of picking on poor Kenny! He's come on strong and now knows his way around a racetrack. Maybe someday his enthusiasm, hard work and perseverence will make up for Mumford's God given talents. As far as smack...Your wife drives a cooler (faster) car than you do!
PS...you, me and mumford have all blown up at least one motor! Maybe Kenny needs to push the envelope just a little harder.

And to Kenny..Quit ******** about poor brakes. They just slow you down anyways. Just pitch the thing sideways, and pray for a late apex.

 

[brett]

Hello Mr. Hawker. It's good to hear from you and I appreciate your concern. As one of the original founders of the TAC (Trash Adelberg Club) I have an honorary status within the club for life. I'm obligated by this status to particiapte in any Adelberg thrashings. Even though the Viper is gone (for now) I have to adhere to the laws within the club. I heard there was a good old fashioned "trash-o-rama" going on involving the pigeon of all pigeons...Mr. Ken (I know you are but what am I) Adelberg. Need I say more?

 

[K Adelberg]

Brett, you Mumford groupie! You just had to jump on the bandwagon to prove that you are a man. Why don't you show us what you've got while you're on the track? Oh...I forgot...It is easier for you to talk then it is for you to drive.

As for you Pemberton...you are just a car salesman. Talk to me when you have the cajones to beat Jon Scott, our most excellent student of the Mumfelberg (smack talking) racing school (of the West Coast exclusively!!!)

Okay Hawker, now it is your turn. Ah! Forget about it. You get one "off the hook" card because you dubbed my long lost beloved trailer, "The Chicken Coop." Next time you go down in flames!

 

[brett]

He's so funny.

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Dear MonSewer Idleberg,
Let us pursue the grammatical use of the word, " JUST, " in your aforementioned paragraph, which included the reference to my personage as being, " Just a car salesman." Is a Viper just a car? Oh, contrare, my friend, so I fear your attempt to lay down some heavy Smack on me , has no merit. I may be "Just" a Viper salesman, but from what I hear from your friends, I "Just' happen to at least have a job, and you "Just" don't. Please take your time to preview the winning times at last years Viper Days Finals and I believe you will see I may have actually beaten all the California drivers in my class, hmmmmmmmmm. I would not bring the admirable Jon Scott into the picture as your erstwhile buddy, as his driving prowess is well known out East and he laid down some killer times at Thunderhill in March. One wonders if you could have kept up with the "Flying Scott," , but then you had a Barbie attack, Mr. Ken, and stayed home for fear that the moisture would ruin your hair. I "Just" have to go back to work now, so, you have a nice day, and let us all know how your favorites in "General Hospital , " are doing today.

 

[SoCal Rebell]

This is good, keep going, this is a great class in learning "SMACK".

 

[brett]

Thanks Kevin...the ACR is looking great and I'm glad to see you're having fun with it. By the way, have you heard Adelberg *****?

 

[K Adelberg]

Oh Mr. Pemberton,

While you try to "justify" your existence by talking about the finals on "just" a go-kart track and then try to explain how you got your a** handed to you out west on a real track like Thunderhill, the truth is exactly where you have pointed to. While your time was respectable at the finals come out west and what happened. You can give me all the smack you want but my time from last October at Thunderhill would have even been respectable this year. The fastest time of the weekend by a full blown race car was only a second faster then mine in a stock car with cat-back exhaust. Its a good thing Mumford and I didn't show up, then your 2:10 compared to a sub. 2 minute would have really sent you back to the farm with your tail between your legs.

Since you tout the cut above of a "Viper" salesman, maybe you'ld better stick to your job, which you do very well.

 

[brett]

Translation please?

 

[BigsViper]

Man, I've only been an owner since November 8 (but I did go to racing school with Woodhouse, Foster, Berone, Pemberton, Downs et al) and I'm wondering... Do I actually have to know these Addle-brain and Mum's-(not)-the-word guys to get in on some of this trash? I'm hoping I can keep them fired up for more laughs and a basis for our inevitable convergence!

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[Tom Glenn]

Mr. Adelberg, I was at Thunderhill last year and enjoyed seeing you turn some incredible laps. I was also there this year and saw Mr. Pemberton turn in a very respectable time after only two sessions in borrowed cars. Since Mr. Pemberton clearly cannot drive on a real track I would like to propose a contest to resolve this issue and benefit charity. Ken Adelberg's best time Vs Bill Pemberton's best time at a real track, lets say the next Viper Day's event at Road America. I will personally donate $100 to the charity of the winners choice to see the match. Oh, and just to make it fair, both cars run on street tires like Bill did at Thunderhill.

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Dear Mr. Adleberg,
I can understand why you would call Motorsport Ranch a go-kart track, since some semi-balding,old, Midwestern fart, ran a 1:23.839 on equally old ( 1996 build date ) Michelin MXX3's this past November. You kicked my asp when I checked your blistering time of 1:23.642 ( since you like to compare times when you were last at a track )that you ran with your Prepared Class Viper on HOOSIER Road Race tires. I am shamed by the .197 shellacking I took with my Super Stock GTS on mud and snows. I bow down to your superior speed and I think we should take up Tom Glenn's suggestion for a charity run at Road America. I really didn't go near as fast as you at Thunderhill, but I was lucky enough to have a couple of friendly Western Region drivers let me borrow their street tire mounts to run a total of 10 whopping laps. I agree completely that Thunderhill is a superb track, and you have been acknowledged as fast there, but at my advanced age, it was hard for me to even find the course in only 10 laps. So I think you should come to Road America this year and show me how to drive, but one thing will be certain - MUMFORD will kick both our butts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
War " Old Racing Farts"

 

[K Adelberg]

Listen here you old fart! You can have your trophy for the time you ran at the finals. Don't compare my times there since that was a long time ago and on tires (Hoosiers) I picked out of the junk pile. I was not the driver I am now back then. That was old fart pace.

Even with 10 laps at Thunderhill, that does not explain a 9 second difference. If you are the old fart racer you say you are, then you should have at least hit a high 2:08. My times again there were on very old Hoosiers. I ran a 2:03 on corded tires with a passenger well over 200lbs. Whatever, tires even if they are worthy should not make more then a 2-3 second difference.

I would be honored to come battle at Road America, however its not in the budget this year.

I do love seeing people of all ages out there, especially Johnny Yuma, who is over 70. That old fart will really give you the business! Relax, old age is after 85, but kudos to you and your whinig. Want some chese for your whine?

Fix the spell check so I can use it, please!

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Words from "Poor Kenny's " Almanac. Tires only make 2-3 seconds difference, hmmnmmmmmmmmmmm. So if I use the logic of " The new improved , I iz mucho faster now, Mr. Adelberg, my time on the Go-kart track at Finals ( with Hoosiers ) could be reduced 3 seconds. Math lesson 101, reduces said time of 1:23.839 to 1:20.839 with better tires. Does that mean that since tires make such a little difference I would have only been 3 seconds faster than you. Yep , that's what it means.

PS - 5 laps in one car, then 5 laps in a differently prepared car, with only the one car timed - **** you is right I should have gone faster,but the cruise control was stuck on 60mph and it wasn't my car!!

PSPS - I hope all this is getting you fired up, as I will sincerely be interested to see how you,Mumford, Schley, Hill, and Donaldson do. Wish I was out there as it will be a great time with a turnout of over 60 Vipers & 17 cars in the Wheel to Wheel Race. Hope alot of Viper owners go out to see all of you guys run. I predict that my good buddy Paul Schley is ready too, so you better watch out for that fast Old Fart!!

 

[Jon 98GTS]

Bill, you've got to be careful when talking with Kenny about how much difference tires make... He starts to play fast and loose with the facts and then he blames it on the spell checker.

For example, he conveniently forgot to mention that his RV role model turned 1:25 at Willow Springs on Hoosiers and then turned a 1:29 on street tires a couple of weeks later. Uh..., the way we do math up here north of the Mason-Dixon line, that's a difference of 4 seconds.

And that other "fast old fart" (to use Pemberton's words) ran 2:02 at Thunderhill last Oct on Hoosiers. And this month, he ran 2:06 on Michelin Club Slicks. Hmmmm, does Adelberg want us to believe that Pilots are 1 sec FASTER than the infamous "Club Chicks" to come up with his 3 sec difference?!?

But Pemberton's not as pure as the driven snow either -- if he's gonna use Ken's time at the Texas Motorsports Go-Kart Ranch from 99, then he should use HIS own time as well. If my memory is correct, Bill's time that same weekend was a mid 1:27. (Gee, whaddayaknow, that's a difference of 4 seconds...)

All I know for certain is this: I want a piece of that action that Tom Glenn is offering! I'll offer up a copy of Webster's Collegiate Dictionary to Adelberg if he wins; if Pemberton wins, I'll buy him the finest ultra-secure, no-drop-guarantee belt AND suspenders that K-Mart offers! (It may not be an official charity that the IRS recognizes, but both of these prizes will definitely make the world a better place...)

PS -- There is a way to get Adelberg to Road America: Have Skip hold the Finals there! Motorsports Ranch is OUT this year and Viper Days is looking for a new location. Personally, I think it should be out west where we have REAL Viper tracks (and a plethora of cones available for the NorCal weenies).

 

[Supercharged Vipermad]

I know I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life---but for the first time I actually agree with 'lil Kenny. Oh, the shame!!!! True, I did run 1:25.6 at Willow on Hoosiers, but that was the best of a bunch of laps (although one of the few passsengerless). I only had one session where I got the timer working a couple weekends ago on Pilot Sports and they were low 1:29s (a 3 1/2) second difference.

BUTTTTT, I run 305 front Hoosiers and was running 275 front Pilots and fellas THAT is the single biggest performance mod you could EVER do to that car. I know I could've run high 1:27s, low 1:28s with 305 (or esp. 315, 325) front Pilots. I had just raced on very, very corded Hoosiers and was not a single bit faster on them than I was on the smaller Pilots.

So I'd say (on my car, with me) Pilots are well within 3 seconds/lap and that's at Willow Springs which is about 2.5 miles long (about average length). That seems about right because when I first went to Willow and didn't really know how to drive, I pulled 1:33s on MXX3s and 1:31s the first time I bolted on Hoosiers (also 275 fronts). If anybody wants to know for sure, I can put on some street tires at Buttonwillow (just over 3.0 miles, so should be about 3 sec.) and we'll find out.

 

[Supercharged Vipermad]

Boy do I feel wrong about that last post! Agreeing with Adelberg just doesn't seem right. Oh well, F**K Adelberg!

 

[Jon 98GTS]

Hey! Somebody should alert the Board administrators -- Adelberg is forging posts to this thread under Mumford's name!

The first clue that this happened is, obviously, that "Paul" is agreeing with Ken. But the give away is that the author used the letter "s" FIVE times in the word "passengerless."

No spell check = Adelberg.

I'll be the one with life-long regrets about posting a message if "Paul" goes back and edits his post...

 

[K Adelberg]

Gee, Pemberton looks like the western guys are on my side. Enough on that!

I will put our old fart Mumfelberg student Schley against you anyday.

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Jon, keep the Dictionary, its of no use. I am beyond hope.

Mumford, serves you right, pinoch!

We should see who is fastest on the Adelberg special junk pile tires! I still have some "club shi*s" we could run on.

 

[BigsViper]

Wore out my mouse scrolling back and forth...back and forth... Anyway to reset this post (or my computer) to eliminate this tennis match? Or is this a way to cull us "weak-kneed smackers"?