Wing King
Enthusiast
I’m not very good at this sort of thing..... maybe I should have enlisted Serious Eric or Bigs from my Zone to help me....... but I’ll try to muddle through on my own.
Registration for the VCA drag races at VOI is almost full........ for the Stock, Mod I, and Mod II classes. Unlimited class already has the largest and fastest field of 9 second Vipers ever put together at one time........ and even a lot more are verbally committed. But, then, we have the Bracket and Exhibition class.......... with only a handful entered so far.
Here’s the thing. We made up that class ESPECIALLY to attract some of you road course racer guys, or anyone else whose “upgrades” might put them at a disadvantage for more strict class rules. This was to be the class where you could bring your “track car”, maybe loaded down with aero equipment, hefty coolers and other durability equipment, suspension not compatible with drag racing, different alignments, etc. No matter what you run, THIS class is the great equalizer. You run the tree and your own dial-in times so that EVERYONE has an equal chance. It’s all driver baby! Ummm....... does this SCARE you road racers????
Yea, a couple of you have ALREADY given me a good laugh..... and you know who you are! Your whiny little excuses about being afraid to break you car before VOI and Viper Days on Monday is absolute PROOF that you have NO CLUE about running fast in a straight line! Here’s a little tip for you....... you’re supposed to SLIP the clutch off the line instead of just dropping the hammer with your fancy nomex boots, and doing your best to break a half-shaft or u-joint. Next, just forget that “parts breaking”/ “wheel hopping” power shift to second. It takes a little skill and finesse for the first to second shift, to avoid bone-jarring hop and launching the cigarette lighter out of its socket! Drive that car of yours WELL, and you should not even break a fingernail! Of course, this is all not to mention the fact that REAL “all around” drivers don’t brag about and admire their fast runs........ listing something like a full ONE second reaction time!!!!!!!....... no matter HOW fast it is. There!!!!....... I’ve given you all the secrets!
So....... since we need a bunch more cars to fill out the Bracket class....... basically I have no choice but to “call out” some of you road racers!! Starting with..... my pal, Tom Glenn. Last time I checked, Tom was leading the world in Viper Days “Unlimited “ division. Last year he swept Super Stock. Tom, I KNOW you are able to put your foot on a brake pedal and steer your car around some cute little corners........ (yawn)....... but can you really drive that thing in a straight line? Under pressure? Can you actually manipulate your hands, feet, eyes, and brain all at the SAME time for a .500 to .600 reaction time........ or should we just plant you into retirement right there on the starting line, instead of somewhere in Florida?????
Yea..... I’m picking on Tom, but the REST of you know who my finger is pointing at......... just a big bunch of one-dimensional drivers!!
Tom........ I’m calling you out for a “match race” at “high noon” on the 25th in the Bracket class, before elimination rounds start. Any of you OTHER slick road racers can try to have a piece of me too..... we should meet somewhere along the way in later rounds. Just like at the road course, in Bracket it’s more the driver than the mods, so let’s see what ya got!!! Man to man! Heck, I should be EASY to beat for a really GOOD all-around driver!
So, I guess I’m kinda curious how some of the rest of you drag guys feel about this? Think I’m being too tough on those prissy road racers? Have I gone too far? Or, not far enough? You think any of these RR guys have the ________ to come show us their skills, or are they ___________? (Your choice to fill in the blanks!)
Lay it on me!
Registration for the VCA drag races at VOI is almost full........ for the Stock, Mod I, and Mod II classes. Unlimited class already has the largest and fastest field of 9 second Vipers ever put together at one time........ and even a lot more are verbally committed. But, then, we have the Bracket and Exhibition class.......... with only a handful entered so far.
Here’s the thing. We made up that class ESPECIALLY to attract some of you road course racer guys, or anyone else whose “upgrades” might put them at a disadvantage for more strict class rules. This was to be the class where you could bring your “track car”, maybe loaded down with aero equipment, hefty coolers and other durability equipment, suspension not compatible with drag racing, different alignments, etc. No matter what you run, THIS class is the great equalizer. You run the tree and your own dial-in times so that EVERYONE has an equal chance. It’s all driver baby! Ummm....... does this SCARE you road racers????
Yea, a couple of you have ALREADY given me a good laugh..... and you know who you are! Your whiny little excuses about being afraid to break you car before VOI and Viper Days on Monday is absolute PROOF that you have NO CLUE about running fast in a straight line! Here’s a little tip for you....... you’re supposed to SLIP the clutch off the line instead of just dropping the hammer with your fancy nomex boots, and doing your best to break a half-shaft or u-joint. Next, just forget that “parts breaking”/ “wheel hopping” power shift to second. It takes a little skill and finesse for the first to second shift, to avoid bone-jarring hop and launching the cigarette lighter out of its socket! Drive that car of yours WELL, and you should not even break a fingernail! Of course, this is all not to mention the fact that REAL “all around” drivers don’t brag about and admire their fast runs........ listing something like a full ONE second reaction time!!!!!!!....... no matter HOW fast it is. There!!!!....... I’ve given you all the secrets!
So....... since we need a bunch more cars to fill out the Bracket class....... basically I have no choice but to “call out” some of you road racers!! Starting with..... my pal, Tom Glenn. Last time I checked, Tom was leading the world in Viper Days “Unlimited “ division. Last year he swept Super Stock. Tom, I KNOW you are able to put your foot on a brake pedal and steer your car around some cute little corners........ (yawn)....... but can you really drive that thing in a straight line? Under pressure? Can you actually manipulate your hands, feet, eyes, and brain all at the SAME time for a .500 to .600 reaction time........ or should we just plant you into retirement right there on the starting line, instead of somewhere in Florida?????
Yea..... I’m picking on Tom, but the REST of you know who my finger is pointing at......... just a big bunch of one-dimensional drivers!!
So, I guess I’m kinda curious how some of the rest of you drag guys feel about this? Think I’m being too tough on those prissy road racers? Have I gone too far? Or, not far enough? You think any of these RR guys have the ________ to come show us their skills, or are they ___________? (Your choice to fill in the blanks!)
