Nexus-6
Enthusiast
This is loooong. I felt kinda verbose tonight. Hell, even had to break it across 2 posts! Good grief!
So. A wee bit of history. The car (a 2002 GTS FE delivered courtesy of the fine folks at Woodhouse) arrives Wednesday afternoon. There is just enough break in the rain to back the beast out of the trailer and directly into the garage. There she stays until Friday night getting the full initial Zaino treatment over the past 2 days.
So. Friday night...
I'm watching the Dallas Stars game, eating dinner - waiting to take her out a little later. I've driven exactly one Viper previously to owning mine for a grand total of 8 minutes seat time. Needless to say I'm quite green with the Snake. Now, to be fair to myself, I'm no stranger to high horsepower machines - my entire family has been racing cars in some fashion all my life. In fact, I often joke that I was born at the track and suckled on race fuel - my father has never quite seen the humor in this which only leads to me ponder it's actual accuracy...
So anyhow. Back to the Stars game. It's important to note that I was watching that game due to one simple fact. As I'm sitting there, trying desperately to get into the game, all I can think of is that Viper sitting in my garage not 30 feet from me and I'm constantly reminded of how long I have before I can slip behind the wheel of that thing because of the play clock on the TV! I can see exactly how long I have until I get to drive it! That damnable car...looking nearly illegal and somehow...well, for lack of a better way to describe it - nearly obscene - it is a helluva **** car. It's four wheel lust with a 6 speed slushbox stuck in it. It's Vipagra - even for a relatively young fella like myself!
You know there's something special about a car that will make an entirely conservative woman (my wife) agree that yes, she too understands the urge to toss her ******* in the passenger side window when she sees one (see, that's actually why I had to buy the Snake - to keep her ******* from ending up in someone ELSES Viper!
So I'm sitting there watching the Stars get the job done and every single time I think of the car my breath catches. Literally. Will I do okay? Will I ****? Just what kind of Viper pilot will I be on this first night? Easy enough question to answer I suppose considering I'll be flexing all of 2500rpm this evening but, for the first time in a long time, I'm nervous about driving in a really peculiar fashion: remember those first afternoons after school when you could finally <legally> drive? You'd look for any excuse to hit the road but the excitement and nervousness went hand in hand...it was truly exhilarating even to make a mad dash to the gas station to top off all of .99 cents in fuel! I was feeling that again even though I had experienced this "first timer" experience nearly 5 times in the past 2 years with my other toys (one with my one TOP dream car of all time - the ZR1)...but not quite like this...
The game wraps. I grab the keys, my wife and we slip outside at 10pm.
I hurriedly pick a destination (my buddies house about 4 miles away, a decent mix of straights and twisties and little traffic) and we settle into the car. Fire it up - lights right away. A basso boom of an exhaust note - not quite a rasp. Not quite a rumble...very unique. Different...I like it...
I check the essentials (seating and wheel position, fiddle with the pedal placement a bit, mirrors are all full of bulging red Viper curves...all check) and slip her into reverse. Ease down the driveway and head off into the quiet 50 degree night (a "chilly" night here in Texas).
Whoa. Throttle is VERY sensitive...difficult to coast along at 10mph...likes to idle in 1st at around 5mph but bump that go-pedal just a touch and you're gonna lurch (and feel as dumb as you look). Second gear works much better for the slow crawl down the back alley behind the house (Texans will understand the alley thing)....clear the side road, into the subdivision and "we're on the road"
Shift action is nice and precise...a bit longish but not unwieldy...throw is not distracting in other words...feels notchy and precise. Clutch engages very nicely too - doesn't feel digital like the M Coupe (you're either clutch in or clutch out I swear with that little car).
First red light, ease to a stop behind an Accord. No other traffic around. The Viper is just purring now - sounds very nice. Not too loud...just right. I notice that my heart is racing and I'm breathing a little harder than normal.
"Self? What the hell is wrong with you? Settle down man! You've done the speed limit for 1.1 miles under 2500rpm...there is nothing to be excited about!"
But I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing something naughty just by simply sitting in the captains chair of this machine!
Light turns green. Accord doesn't move. Waiting...still nothing. I get ready to tap the horn. Waiting....yellow (swell, traffic pattern at night - of course it's going to go red straight away)...RED. I have missed a light with NO traffic around me and a transfixed Accord in front of me, unable to simply remember the basics of simple A to B. Poor fella simply cannot take his eyes off his rearview mirror.
Do you remember that snake in the cartoon The Jungle Book? The one that would hypnotize his prey with the circling pinwheel eyes, slithering around his prey and transforming their own huge bewildered eyes to similar spinning dials of black and white? That was this guy. He was stuck staring in his rearview mirror for 2 full traffic lights. I was stuck watching this happen thinking how strange this all felt.
That was kinda interesting though...I'm finding that driving the Viper is going to be an interesting experiment in social interaction!
This could be very fun! My wife agrees with me on this point as long as the interaction is with put off women who promptly discredit any man altogether if he's sitting behind to wheel of this car.
Green. The Accord figures out what he's doing. We're off again.
We reach my buddies house and pull in to say hi for a second. He promptly runs out and stands next to the Viper ready to go for a ride - all smiles. And this guy is the ANTI car guy. Couldn't care less but the Viper, "well that's different!" It's not his turn yet and he looks like a punished puppy as he heads back into his house with his head down. "Tomorrow!" I say - we'll play tomorrow...
Pause, staring at the car in the moonlight. This car is all curve and you find yourself walking around etching it's shape into your every thought.
Head off again to take the long way back home and run a few circuits of the industrial park near my house - great driving with no traffic this time of night. Plenty of straight and twisty stuff. Not that you can actually DO much under 2500rpm but it's a good place to get acquainted with this new addition to the family.
A pickup up ahead about 1/2 a mile slows way down, switches lanes and lets us by. Promptly pulls in behind us, then passes us on the other side. Slows down, cycles behind us again and passes on the other end. His evening has just gotten a little more interesting too I suppose.
<Part Two...>
So. A wee bit of history. The car (a 2002 GTS FE delivered courtesy of the fine folks at Woodhouse) arrives Wednesday afternoon. There is just enough break in the rain to back the beast out of the trailer and directly into the garage. There she stays until Friday night getting the full initial Zaino treatment over the past 2 days.
So. Friday night...
I'm watching the Dallas Stars game, eating dinner - waiting to take her out a little later. I've driven exactly one Viper previously to owning mine for a grand total of 8 minutes seat time. Needless to say I'm quite green with the Snake. Now, to be fair to myself, I'm no stranger to high horsepower machines - my entire family has been racing cars in some fashion all my life. In fact, I often joke that I was born at the track and suckled on race fuel - my father has never quite seen the humor in this which only leads to me ponder it's actual accuracy...
So anyhow. Back to the Stars game. It's important to note that I was watching that game due to one simple fact. As I'm sitting there, trying desperately to get into the game, all I can think of is that Viper sitting in my garage not 30 feet from me and I'm constantly reminded of how long I have before I can slip behind the wheel of that thing because of the play clock on the TV! I can see exactly how long I have until I get to drive it! That damnable car...looking nearly illegal and somehow...well, for lack of a better way to describe it - nearly obscene - it is a helluva **** car. It's four wheel lust with a 6 speed slushbox stuck in it. It's Vipagra - even for a relatively young fella like myself!
You know there's something special about a car that will make an entirely conservative woman (my wife) agree that yes, she too understands the urge to toss her ******* in the passenger side window when she sees one (see, that's actually why I had to buy the Snake - to keep her ******* from ending up in someone ELSES Viper!
So I'm sitting there watching the Stars get the job done and every single time I think of the car my breath catches. Literally. Will I do okay? Will I ****? Just what kind of Viper pilot will I be on this first night? Easy enough question to answer I suppose considering I'll be flexing all of 2500rpm this evening but, for the first time in a long time, I'm nervous about driving in a really peculiar fashion: remember those first afternoons after school when you could finally <legally> drive? You'd look for any excuse to hit the road but the excitement and nervousness went hand in hand...it was truly exhilarating even to make a mad dash to the gas station to top off all of .99 cents in fuel! I was feeling that again even though I had experienced this "first timer" experience nearly 5 times in the past 2 years with my other toys (one with my one TOP dream car of all time - the ZR1)...but not quite like this...
The game wraps. I grab the keys, my wife and we slip outside at 10pm.
I hurriedly pick a destination (my buddies house about 4 miles away, a decent mix of straights and twisties and little traffic) and we settle into the car. Fire it up - lights right away. A basso boom of an exhaust note - not quite a rasp. Not quite a rumble...very unique. Different...I like it...
I check the essentials (seating and wheel position, fiddle with the pedal placement a bit, mirrors are all full of bulging red Viper curves...all check) and slip her into reverse. Ease down the driveway and head off into the quiet 50 degree night (a "chilly" night here in Texas).
Whoa. Throttle is VERY sensitive...difficult to coast along at 10mph...likes to idle in 1st at around 5mph but bump that go-pedal just a touch and you're gonna lurch (and feel as dumb as you look). Second gear works much better for the slow crawl down the back alley behind the house (Texans will understand the alley thing)....clear the side road, into the subdivision and "we're on the road"
Shift action is nice and precise...a bit longish but not unwieldy...throw is not distracting in other words...feels notchy and precise. Clutch engages very nicely too - doesn't feel digital like the M Coupe (you're either clutch in or clutch out I swear with that little car).
First red light, ease to a stop behind an Accord. No other traffic around. The Viper is just purring now - sounds very nice. Not too loud...just right. I notice that my heart is racing and I'm breathing a little harder than normal.
"Self? What the hell is wrong with you? Settle down man! You've done the speed limit for 1.1 miles under 2500rpm...there is nothing to be excited about!"
But I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing something naughty just by simply sitting in the captains chair of this machine!
Light turns green. Accord doesn't move. Waiting...still nothing. I get ready to tap the horn. Waiting....yellow (swell, traffic pattern at night - of course it's going to go red straight away)...RED. I have missed a light with NO traffic around me and a transfixed Accord in front of me, unable to simply remember the basics of simple A to B. Poor fella simply cannot take his eyes off his rearview mirror.
Do you remember that snake in the cartoon The Jungle Book? The one that would hypnotize his prey with the circling pinwheel eyes, slithering around his prey and transforming their own huge bewildered eyes to similar spinning dials of black and white? That was this guy. He was stuck staring in his rearview mirror for 2 full traffic lights. I was stuck watching this happen thinking how strange this all felt.
That was kinda interesting though...I'm finding that driving the Viper is going to be an interesting experiment in social interaction!
Green. The Accord figures out what he's doing. We're off again.
We reach my buddies house and pull in to say hi for a second. He promptly runs out and stands next to the Viper ready to go for a ride - all smiles. And this guy is the ANTI car guy. Couldn't care less but the Viper, "well that's different!" It's not his turn yet and he looks like a punished puppy as he heads back into his house with his head down. "Tomorrow!" I say - we'll play tomorrow...
Pause, staring at the car in the moonlight. This car is all curve and you find yourself walking around etching it's shape into your every thought.
Head off again to take the long way back home and run a few circuits of the industrial park near my house - great driving with no traffic this time of night. Plenty of straight and twisty stuff. Not that you can actually DO much under 2500rpm but it's a good place to get acquainted with this new addition to the family.
A pickup up ahead about 1/2 a mile slows way down, switches lanes and lets us by. Promptly pulls in behind us, then passes us on the other side. Slows down, cycles behind us again and passes on the other end. His evening has just gotten a little more interesting too I suppose.
<Part Two...>
