OK, Dan, as a psychologist, allow me the favor of making a key clarification at this point.
It would be true that if the Viper was simply another car, then, obviously, yes, you are indeed giving far too much attention to an inanimate object (know where we're going, don't you?).
However, the Viper is NOT just another car.
The Viper is eternal youth and recaptured childhood.
The Viper is instant fame and the essence of good fortune.
The Viper is truth and beauty.
The Viper is all your achieved expectations.
The Viper is power and authority.
The Viper is virility captured in metallic exuberance.
(Also, the Viper has never been known to nag.)
We of The Viper Nation Fraternal Brotherhood have tasted the sweet nectar of raw power and absolute torque. So, proceed, my brother, to the call of a higher relationship with that machina of machinas - The Dodge VIPER!
